Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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