So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize