I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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