I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
