idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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