walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
