Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
