please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
