Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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