i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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