I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize