They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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