if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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