I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize