hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
