so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
