Im at strip club and am horny
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
