no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
