no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
