Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
