We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
