cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
