508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
