I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
