Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I cut my penus on the lid.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
