You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
