You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
