Will you blow on my dice?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
