Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
