***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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