Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
