just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
