She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
