if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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