ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize