He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
