after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you will always have a special place in my vag
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
