Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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