I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
