Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize