Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize