wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My breasts were aching with rage.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
