I think I won the penis lottery.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
