Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The uberlube is also flammable
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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