Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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