You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
