do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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