You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
