you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
