i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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