Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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