The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
