We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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