I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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