So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
