The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
